Straightening Up
Straightening Up
by David Michael
He grabbed the clear packing tape, with its handy edged dispenser, and looked at it for a moment, wondering if he had enough. It was the biggest roll of tape he could find. It had to be enough. So he got to work.
He started with his laptop computer, taping it closed first, then sealing the edges, carefully folding the tape so no sticky edges poked up. Then he taped the laptop to the top of his desk, right where he always kept it.
The printer came next, following a similar approach. He taped down the scanner/copier lid, then wrapped tape around the paper bin to keep the paper from falling out, and finally taped over the control panel. Then the printer too was taped, as a whole, to the top of the desk.
The rest of the desk followed, starting with the various office supplies and papers scattered on the desktop. He had made an effort to straighten and organize the mass of material the day before. Now they would stay in place, be organized forever. He taped the ink pens where they lay, along with his cellphone. He started to re-arrange the bills some in their slotted holder, then taped them all up exactly as they were now.
He pushed in his chair, and taped it to the desk. He had to use a lot of tape for that, reaching behind the desk and bringing the tape back around, wrapping desk and chair several times.
He stepped back to admire the effect. Yes, he liked it. Very neat.
“What the hell are you doing?” asked his wife.
He smiled at her. “Just straightening up,” he said.
She gave him a look and then turned to leave the small office. Once her back was too him, he struck her at the base of the neck with the tape dispenser, hard. She pitched forward and landed with a thud on the dog, who yelped.
“Sorry, boy,” he said.
The dog had been laying in the hall outside the small bedroom he had converted to be his office. The dog crawled out from under the prone body of his wife, and sniffed at her, licked her on the face. She didn’t move, which suited him fine. He wasn’t ready to take care of her yet. He needed to finish his office, first.
He experimented with taping the books to the shelves, but couldn’t find an appealing way to do it. So he left the books as they were and created a window of tape, keeping the strips parallel with only the barest overlap.
He picked up his wife then. She had a large bruise and a knot forming on her forehead, from when her head had hit the hardwood floors. She moaned slightly as he arranged her on the sofa, facing the TV.
Just to be safe, he taped her arms and legs to the sofa first. She started to come around as he finished her legs.
“Honey,” she said. “What’s going on?”
He pulled a small length of tape off the roll. “Just straightening up,” he said, and positioned it over her mouth, securing the ends together on the back of her neck.
Her eyes got wide and she struggled to breath through her nose.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I forgot about your allergies.”
He used longer strips of tape to anchor her head to both the sofa and the wall, so she would stop thrashing it back and forth.
He taped the TV into the entertainment center next, and created the same window-from-tape to keep the video tapes and DVD’s in place on their shelves.
The dog proved to be more difficult than his wife. When he finished, he had several long, deep scratches on his arms. But the dog looked really good, though, almost like he was sleeping, taped to the floor in his favorite spot.
The roll of tape had become very thin, he noticed. He sighed. He wouldn’t have enough to straighten up their bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen. The manufacturer should’ve anticipated this kind of project, he thought, and created a bigger roll.
Still, he had enough to tape the front door shut.
As he did that, the next door neighbor came home and noticed him working.
“Hola, señor,” the neighbor said. “Qué pasa?”
“Hey,” he replied. “Doing good. You?”
The neighbor nodded. “Bueno, bueno. What are you doing?”
He attached the last piece of tape, sealing the door. He turned around and smiled at the neighbor. “Oh,” he said. “Just straightening up a bit.”
The roll of tape empty, he tossed it into a corner of the front porch. His life in order, or as ordered as he could make it, he walked away.
Copyright © 2006 by David Michael. All rights reserved.
A Short Story a Day » Best of ASSAD 2006 said,
December 26, 2006 @ 6:10 pm
[...] The Puppets Take a Bath Waking Up Can Kill You, Some Days Hot Water Why You’re Here Indecision Love and Tetherball Ambulance Chasers Straightening Up Hard Boiled The Dragon Hunts Steve Visits Whooped Fickle Reality, or That Explains a Lot Allergorphosis Cat Burglar Fresh Air [...]